Debbi had a strange encounter with the baggers and checkers at Publix last night. She has developed a following of sorts when she checks out because of her legendary use of coupons. The baggers and checkers, mostly teenagers stop what they are doing and come over to see how she did ($70 savings on a $130 grocery bill). One of the young men said to her, "You are a real mom aren't you? You know, you cook and you all eat together right...and I bet you drive a mini-van and have more than two kids and one of them must play soccer. You are a real mom aren't you?" Debbi said, "Yes, I am a 'real' mom" and showed him her monthly menu from which she shops. He just shook his head and said, "I can't even pronounce some of the stuff you are cooking!"
This encounter made me wonder if the family meal is dying. We eat together every night but Wednesday and Sunday (When we are at church) but I don't really have a sense of what other families do. Here is a good article I found about family dinners. I would be curious to see what others are doing and what your traditions are. I think home-cooked is not as important as the fact that folks are sitting down together, even if it is around a Dominoes pizza.
13 comments:
Wow I am the first to leave a comment!
I share your beliefs. The Chaplins sit around our dinner table every night without any disruptions (tv, phone, cells). We pray together and talk about what our highs and lows for the day (Abby recently added our "middles" which is neither a high or a low). After dinner we all clean and while we clean we sing very loudly and sometimes off key. But its our ritual and we all love it. We don't let extra curricular activities get in the way. If we have an outside activity at 5:30, then we all sit down at 4:30 and eat. Just the way it is.
The Lowe's also believe in Family Dinner with no media (tv, phone, radio, etc). Some nights arebusier than others, so I say we all sit together on average 4 times a week. I enjoy talking with the kids about their day for the first 15-20 minutes. After wrestling Claire's will for another 10 minutes trying to get her to eat a "no thank you bite" of whatever she is detesting at the moment, we let the kids excuse themselves. That's when Amanda and I get some time to just talk. We had the same family time at the dinner table when I was a kid. We sometimes ate at 9:30 at night after sports, but it was always a priority.
We also try to make sitting down to family dinner a priority. No interruptions (except to run to the potty with Gannon!). We usually accomplish this about 5-6 nights a week. Amy, we do high/low in our house, too!!! I like the idea of middles, but Gannon still doesn't even really get high/low, so maybe we'll wait a few years for that one! I think family dinners are the glue for today's family, though. Very important to keep that connection strong.
this is off the subject but Tony, this is the first time I've read your blog in a million years, and I was looking back at old posts and I see your new blog link listed. You should put a link to that blog on your email signatures along with this blog. Thats why I am here today, because I saw a link to this blog on the email you sent me today.
Just a random Amy Chaplin thought. This one is on the house.
Oh, I forgot to say that I am in no way as organized as Debbi (monthly menu!?!!? you really should email that to me so i can get an idea of how to organize a month in advance!)
So, Tony, I have to say I have enjoyed catching up on all the events in the lives of the Akers.
I agree about the family meal dying. Do you guys still do highlights and lowlights? That's something I always admired about you and Debbi and the kids, and I hope it's still a tradition.
Debbi mentioned Sam does not remember our massive engineering and train track building feats. Sad times, but that's how it goes,right? Bri and I are well. Miss you guys tons!
All of you who might be impressed with my organization...don't be:) However, if any of you are interested in getting together on a Saturday and making a bunch of meals for your family to put in the freezer and pull out on those busy soccer nights...I would love to do this. We would have a blast and get something accomplished for our families in the process. I'll explain more if you are interested. e-mail or facebook me.
Brett,
Yes! We often still do highs and lows. However, dinner has now taken on a new atmosphere. We often play referee in making sure each child gets to talk and one does not overpower the other. It has now become a time of enjoying each other while having lessons in listening and mutual respect. You would think we just started eating together!
Miss you. We would love to meet Bri whenever possible. It sure is great to keep in touch again! The wonder of technology.
If I had a family, we would be eating together, because that's what I experienced growing up, and it is full of positives
We eat together when we don't have:
Youth, Emmaus cluster meeting (tonight)- my first one-yoohoo!, church council meeting, 2 appointments back to back... you get the drift. Really we are around the table every day at least once and most of the time twice. I never did that as a child, and always wanted it, so it's pretty important to me. I love the highs and lows. I'll have to steal that when ours are old enough to get it.
Deb- have you ever done Homemade Gourmet meals frozen like that? I've done that a couple of times before and it has been wonderful! I'm up for a casserole freeze anytime!
We rarely eat together. Just being honest. I was raised in a family that ate together. And, I've seen pleasant eating situation as well as stressful ones.
My kids (with high-functioning autism) are different. Their conversations rarely are about their day.
When they do want to talk, they have deep questions, and they ask, any time of the day.
During these conversations, I usually gain a deeper understanding of God's love and how to "break life down".
They are like..."Eat, pray, love. What's the big deal?" (I guess I stole that catchy phrase?)
This everyday part of them is without thought - it's their strong instinctual connection to God - that's so obvious to me.
Even though I try not to analyze stuff so much (it is what it is), I would like to eat together more.
Sounds like the teenage boy Debbi spoke to would like it, also.
(sorry for the dissertation on autism...it just flows out of me)
basically I just take everything from my childhood, as non-existent as it was, and do the EXACT opposite. This includes, but by all means is not limited to, eating together as a family. gotta cherish every moment!
Debbi- i emailed you about the dinners. I am VERY interested! Some of the women at work do it and they speak highly of it.
We try to sit down together for dinner as much as possible. But thanks--mainly to my schedule--we only manage this 3 or 4 times a week. But I think it is VERY important and there is even data to support its importance--including higher ACT/SAT scores. And I suspect that had we not been in the habit when they were younger we wouldn't manage it at all now!
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